The opioid pain medication they prescribed is HydroMorphone. It is actually pretty effective at managing pain without any of the unpleasant side effects that its opiate cousin, Morphine elicits. (i.e. It is pretty boring as far as ‘fun’ pain killers go, it just gets the job done without any of the addicting firework spewing, tap dancing elephant displays.) What a boring Snooze Fest! Kidding, I am really happy that they are so effective without too much worry of dependency.
Because it is a controlled narcotic we have to call in today to get our Rx renewed, because they only dispense a limited amount at a time.
Late last night was the first time that the filthy, smoky drafts of negative feelings started to permeate the cracks in my good disposition. Apparently a natural part of the recovery process is the random interspersing of uninvited ‘blue’ feelings known as ‘cardiac depression’ which encompasses a range of sadness, despondency, anger, frustration, slump, depression, malaise and overall just feeling like rubbish.
The heart is such a literal hub of life pumping force and our human emotional centerpiece. There is a reason people grab their chests and hug themselves when faced with sad news or a sudden shock. Scientists have extensively researched the emotional connection between our brains and our hearts. Interestingly they have proven that the heart is involved in many more functions than just pumping and circulating our blood. It houses, generates and connects many of our emotions, sending more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. Think about that.
It is a real human emotional epicenter and I can see, first hand, how surgery – that temporarily shuts the heart off, while installing new functioning pieces – would make it a tad grumpy. And by ‘grumpy’ I mean my heart is pretty majorly pissed off these days.
I don’t have too many cardiac blues symptoms yet, but I got a tiny glimpse of what it might become if you let your drawbridge down long enough. I plan not to let these moods of such ill repute move in permanently, but denial alone might not suffice as a defence. I will have to work at positive thought and temperance against bad moods as if it were a poison to be abstained from. I will try to keep my drawbridge tightly sealed and fill my castle moat with some vicious, rainbow striped, sadness and depression hungry crocodiles to gobble it all up.
Why you gotta be so hard heart surgery? Why?
12 Comments
Tracy dear you are always in my prayers…
Oink Oink you always…
🙂
Sending you some extra hungry crocodiles… Who am I kidding? All we have over here are caiman (should that be cai-men when pluralized??) so will send a caiman or two across (see how I avoided the use of the plural there? I hope you are making copious notes for your next novel, as who knows when Jim will encounter some caimen in his adventures?!)
Sending love and healing vibes!!
Haha I like caiman pluralised as caimen! Don’t worry this whole experience is too much fodder to NOT write a book about. So I am putting virtual pen to virtual paper and getting it started. 🙂
Tracy-Hello and I want to tell you that I am also looking for the bridge to be free of so much
mental traffic and that the drawbridge is safe going in either direction. The road back to the “Happy
Healing Place” is one easily where unexpected twists and turns can surprise you but if you are lucky
you will stay your course because that delightful brain of yours will keep your direction “UP” as much
as it can. No one told me that depression could cut in and ruin the dance awhile but it is only temporary and only your body fighting off all of the aggravation and abuse it took while getting sorted out. It will not be long until you see how fleeting the dark visitor hangs out and your mind will open those clear
skies wide, the rainbows will appear and that imagination of yours will soar with perhaps less of this
surgical haze that seems to present itself at times. Keep your spirits up as much as you can and when
you can’t it is perfectly ok to let it all out and lessen the pressure. Take Care. (By the way, I am 5 months
Post-op and it will get better.
Thank you Terrie! The advice from people who have already gone though it helps SOOO much at this stage. 🙂
i’m so glad you have such lovely friends telling you that it will get better after personal experience, and that it’s perfectly ok to let go at times! it’s not good to keep it all in! it goes with the snipping and snapping of that heart of yours, it’s all part of it. and then it’s ok too because you have your lovely wife claudine and your mom to hug you through all this. keep a stiff upper lip! 🙂
OXOX
️Xoxolmnop 🙂
All my love is with you, brave one. xxx
Thank you friend! 🙂
Hey Tracy,
Have you heard of Heart Math? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdneZ4fIIHE They do some pretty interesting research on the power of the heart. It’s fascinating stuff. I’m glad that you’re making it an absolute priority to stay positive, and to not let the negative thoughts get you down. Something I’ve been working on lately is A Course In Miracles, and one of the exercises that really awakened me was that … to battle the negativity, it’s about where you place your denial. It says that instead of denying the negative thoughts, deny the POWER the negative thoughts have on you. I LOVE YOU! Stay strong!
That HeartMath thing is super interesting!! It’s funny how the challenges in life can lead us to the doors we are made to explore. I love you and thanks for being such an awesome cousin human! ️Xoxolmnop 🙂 <3