Eggs on Stilts and Gratitude

My sweet cousin, Alex, nominated me to list things for which I am filled with gratitude; at first I thought, “Why is this girl trying to get all up in my gratitude?” But then it gave me pause to consider that every single morning, I open my eyes and think “Holy shit I am still alive, that’s awesome” I feel grateful to be alive every single day; with the occasional exceptions of waking up when my mouth feels like week old, sandy potato salad that has been left in the sun, because I was too diligent the night before in my quest to make sure that all of the wine was sufficiently sampled. Instead, on those mornings, I wake up and think “Holy shit I am still alive, where can I find chips”

I list, in no particular order, things for which I am indebted, on an almost daily basis:

#1
I am grateful to the person who figured out that we have to cook eggs in order to eat them. I am not sure how many raw eggs had to be endured throughout history, but your efforts were not in vain.

#2
I am grateful that people do not walk on stilts everyday, because that is singularly one of the most terrifying things to me. Stilt walkers cripple me with fear and I am grateful to be able to avoid them, for the most part, daily.

#3
I am grateful for our collective human defiance of the packaging disclaimer on Qtips; because even though it clearly states that they are “not for use in the ear canal” there is nothing more satisfying than shoving one into your ear canal. Especially after a shower.

I also just realized that I am expected to do this for three consecutive days but, let’s be real, its Friday and I am going to get my drink on. So as a value add bonus I am going to include one more:

#BONUS#
I am grateful for thumbs, both of them. Because without them we would just have four slightly pointless, floppy digits on each hand, with pretty limited dexterity to grasp things and no ability to signal that we are ok after a fall. Thumbs are the business.

Thanks Alex.