“Please, take off all of your clothes but leave your shoes and socks on.” is one of the least pleasant things a stranger can say to you. For such a caring profession Doctors and hospital staff really do love trickery and perpetrating boldfaced lies everyday.
When they say: “This might sting a little.”
What they should say is: “This is really going to hurt quite a fucking lot.”
“Have a seat we will be right with you.”
Kind nurse I think what you mean to say is: “Sit here for an indeterminate amount of time, in this room full of ill, hacking people while we ignore you for the rest of your sane life”
“You might feel some slight pressure.”
And by ‘pressure’ we mean a heard of wild horses will gallop across all of your nerve endings.
“Would you like to have a nice glass of wine before we jam these needles into your skin?”
Kidding they never say that shit…..but they should.
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