Hospital Tour of Duty.

Week 36 and counting…

Last weekend we had our official tour of the prenatal/birthing floor at Mt. Sinai. It was impressively well-organized, detailing all the administrative loopholes of checking in, where to go, what to do and overall how not to freak the f*ck out. (That last bit is what I got from it)

My disdain for hospitals goes back many a moon, but getting to tour one when I am not the prospective patient made it slightly more palatable. The lighting, however, was still as dastardly morbid as ever.

We saw one of the exact birthing rooms available, complete with an impressive looking heat lamp over the tiny bed that our baby will hopefully rest happily in at some stage. The baby stays in the room with you at all times once health allows. Gone are the days of rows of babies screaming in a nursery of cradles stacked side by side under fluorescent lighting. It was reassuring to see exactly where things are and how they look beforehand.

Each birthing room is private, fully equipped and has an on suite bathroom with option of a walk in shower or massive tub. Partners are allowed to get in the tub with the labouring mother. Except we both have to wear water shoes so as not to slip.
Ha, Water shoes!

I don’t know why the vision of us waddling around in aqua shoes in a hospital bathtub struck me as unendingly funny. I doubt I will find it funny at the time. Well, perhaps a little funny.

Quite early on Claudine and I felt deep concern for the future safety and development of the babies of some couples on the tour. Many of their questions were so ridiculous that they made me wonder how they had even managed to figure out what to do to get pregnant in the first place.

A highly informative nurse/staff member, who fielded the barrage of impossibly stupid questions with the patience of Job, led our tour group of about 16 people. She somehow managed to not lose her cool when one future dad moseyed off the tour to “have a look at the shower” in another birthing room. Apparently he was unable to envision what a shower looked like and possibly walking in on some poor unsuspecting woman in labour wasn’t something that crossed his mind. Thankfully the room was empty.

Our tour guide showed us where the ice machine and freezer are located. Popsicles are a big winner during birth evidently and I am going to make some with fresh juice in these nifty freezer bags we bought. Bonus points should rain down like glitter.

Overall the birthing facility at Mt. Sinai looks pretty super and we both felt reassured to put our eyes on everything before the big day. Now off to invent some popsicles…