No-stress test

I had my final cardiac rehab exercise stress test at the hospital today. Or as I like to now call it my “No-stress test”. I transferred to the “at home” program at around week 8 – I personally found the “in hospital” work out sessions difficult to commit to (and by that I mean I found it depressing to go to a hospital every week to walk on a treadmill.) 

At the beginning of my rehab – just over 4 weeks after having my chest opened – my exercise results were held in the shackles of beta-blockers and recovering from recent surgery. Everyday since the surgery I have been trying to gradually increase my exercise capacity and in turn my strength and health.

I was so tempted to pull the whole thing over and bolt out of the room.

I still have a long way to go but today my heart squished the scales of potential and flooded my body with oxygenated blood to pump me past the limits of my previous session.

When I got to the hospital I felt excited to break the machine. Fortunately the treadmill was fine when I got off of it. I didn’t break any machines, but I certainly broke my own limits and hopefully left their post cardiac surgery statistics with deep furrows of splintering cracks. I had significantly upped my overall capacity and time on the treadmill. It was like the best game ever and the nurse and I giggled at everything. I made her take my picture.

Next week I get to attend Cardiac Rehab Graduation. I don’t know exactly what that will entail, but I sure as shyte hope that I get a hat with a tassel on it. I best get to work on my valedictorian speech…

I told the nurse that I didn’t know how the Romans did so much activity wearing robes. That shit is cumbersome.

They use tiny pieces of sandpaper to ‘prepare’ the skin for the electrodes, so they don’t fall off when you sweat. Sandpapering your skin feels pretty much how you would imagine…