Sleep Training (and how we survived)

So, we started sleep “training” Averie this weekend or as it is otherwise known; how to buy a fast ticket to torment and self-exhaustion. “They” say a baby should have a sleep routine before the age of one. So we figured we might as well start the week before her first birthday.

Being away for an extended trip these past few months broke apart any semblance of routine that we had for bedtime. Averie slept in the same room and often same bed as us for much of the 7 weeks we were away.  So, getting her back to her crib – her actual crib not an MTV palace with a wine cellar and chocolate fondue fountain – was a challenge.

In the past, we have either waited for her to be asleep before putting her in her crib or more recently staying next to her in a shared bed. Even though bed sharing was cosy and lovely in many ways – minus the fact that she kicks and sleeps like a helicopter – the routine of one of us having to go to bed with her at 8 pm wasn’t something that fit our personal lifestyle. Doubled with the fact that nobody was getting a good night sleep (besides the dog and cat were but they don’t count.)

We decided that it would be best if I played bad cop and took over the entire nighttime routine. Because Claudine’s heart is made of red velvet cake. Sweet and crumbly. But mostly because my boobs are mercifully milk free and she had grown addicted to soothing herself on Claudine and her milky prowess.

Neither of us could take the stress of the extended Cry It Out method so we opted for the more exhausting version of helping her learn that the crib is a safe, cosy space and that she can fall asleep independently. The plan was to put her in the crib soothe and settle her, then leave the room and repeat every 30 seconds to a minute. 30 seconds felt like an eternity to hear your baby wail. I too must have a cake like emotional nature.

NIGHT ONE

Bedtime routine:

1. Bath
2. Story-time
3. Milk
4. Cuddles
5. Bed
6. Release the Kraken and the hounds of hell

So night one of being lovingly put in her crib resulted in an electrifying pissed off rage to find herself sleepy but unable to fall asleep because nobody was rocking/nursing/helping her.

If you don’t have a baby or never had the need to teach another human (animal, marsupial or insect) to fall asleep on their own this is your time to high five yourself with a bucket of diamonds and liquid gold. Your life choices seem superior to mine right now. Because that shit is hard and heartbreaking. Give me a room full of crying puppies any day.

I followed the planned routine to settle her in her crib (cue angry crying) and I patted her back and said soothing things then left the room for 30 seconds before going back in and repeating the process. Again and again.

Claudine sat wide-eyed at the dining table and probably ached from Averie’s indignation and yelling (it wasn’t even crying at that point that baby was ANGRY)

I needed a stone cold steely resolve and managed to do this back and forth for about 15mins. Go into the room soothe, rub back, tell her that everyone was going to sleep (dog and cat included) and leave the room.

She fell asleep after about a half hour in total. And only cried for a portion of that time. Thank god. Which is guess is not that bad? She woke up about an hour later (which has been her more recent routine) and I repeated the process. Boring, but no tears and she was back to sleep in 10mins

Overall it wasn’t that bad all things considered.

Around 1 am she woke up, and I took her to Claudine to feed then put her back to bed. We did the dance of pat, soothe until almost 3 am, not much crying just back-breaking contortions of leaning over to comfort her in the crib to make her feel safe and comfy. She slept until 7:30 that morning

NIGHT TWO

Night two was simultaneously better and worse. She fell asleep in half the time with half the crying and slept much longer. She was snoring by 8 pm. It was glorious and peaceful and we watched an episode of a TV show and I drank a glass of wine just like the pretend adult life we used to have.

“Hello, Normal Life, is that you?”

But the wake up a few hours later at 10:40 pm was more exhausting (because we were exhausted from the night before) and Averie seemed to be more riled up. Even though it seemed like waiting for an entire wall of gloss finish oil paint to dry, I got her back to sleep by midnight and slept until 5:30 am

Night two was a success. Sort of.

NIGHT THREE

Even though Claudine and I both look like a tractor ran over us, we are seeing some slight signs of improvement. She seems to sleep deeper in the crib. Not as much tossing and turning, also not having a dog and cat walking on her waking her up like being in our bed helps.

She fell asleep in a record 10 mins on night three around 8:30 and stayed asleep until 3:30 am. Fed and went back down with zero tears. Angels must have whispered a chorus of praises and she slept until 8 the next morning. We are all much more rested. Tonight is night four and as I type this she is already asleep with less drama and No Tears. Just like the shampoo, even though it did sometimes cause tears if you got it in your eye, clever marketing can convince you of anything.

I haven’t had to ask my sister nine thousand questions every 4 seconds today, so things must be getting easier. How and where your baby/family sleeps is such a personal journey and only the people in the situation can know what works for them. For us having a rested night of good sleep for everyone (baby included) is the main priority.

Sleep well, friends. Someday (hopefully soon) we all will too.

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