Goals Update!

After my surgery last year, I boldly made a public list of the goals I hoped to achieve within the year. A lot of things happened in that time frame, some goals were completed and others hovered in limbo. During that time, we made a brand new human being, which is something. So because I like to celebrate my failures along with my successes, I figured I might as well throw some glitter on that shit and celebrate anyway.

This is an update on how those goals all went…

Practice yoga 4 times per/wk (get flexy!)
I did yoga but it was not nearly as often as that. (Sort of Success)

Swimming weekly (exercise like a mermaid)
I swam only leading up to the triathlon and decided that while it is great exercise, I hate chlorine and sharing water with strangers half naked bodies. (Not a Success)

Get drivers’ licence* (Ontario has a silly graduated system)
I FINALLY got this, after failing 3 times (Total Success)

Learn French (Languages are good for the brainsssss)
What was I thinking?? French is terribly hard. (Not a Success)

Learn to play 1 song on an instrument
This was not a total failure as my VERY patient friend Jeffrey tried, with varying degrees of success, to play Bach’s Minuet in G major and Greensleeves. Which took me significantly longer than even a child of average intelligence might take and I got finger cramps. The piano might not be my thing. Jeffrey said that even though I was taught by a first-rate instructor, I failed anyway due to excessive alcohol and intolerance for healthy pain. Also he is mean and once tried my fingers together with a rubber band.  (Sort of Success)

Draw something new 3 times per/wk
I did not do this at all. (Not a Success)

Complete “Tri”athlon*** (Aug 22, 2015)
My sister and I did it and we didn’t die. (Total Success)

Run 5k race (Date TBD)
Soooooo, I signed up to do a 5K race with my friend Sara and we got there at 7am and it was really windy so we went for brunch instead. But I did run 5K many times without being in an actual race. (So sort of success.)

Walk 5000 – 10000 steps everyday****
Some days were more some were less. (mostly a Success)

Weekly Blogging
Some weeks were better than others (Sort of Success, but can improve)

Read 30 books
(Total Success)

Finish Writing Book (heart surgery memoir, Fall 2015)
I started writing but fell off the target (Not a Success)
but more on that in a bit….

Visit 2 brand new places
We took lots of trips around Ontario and saw lots of brand new places (Total Success!)

Overall it was a solid 50/50 which I guess is that bad after all.

So in the spirit of announcing things into the echoed voids of the internet. I am declaring that I am in the process of writing my first full length book. I am working on a memoir style humorous guide to having open heart surgery. Because I am good at nothing if not getting my chest cut open and my heart fixed.

I have wanted to write it for a very long time. And because I need to have the pressure of a hovering deadline and because I apparently hate myself.

I clearly missed my goal of having it done last Fall.
So now I plan to have the book done for the December 31 2016 deadline AND to submit for the Stephen Leacock Award – a prestigious award for Canadian humour writers.
Because a little added stress never killed anyone. Kidding, stress is the worst and it kills people all the time.
The winner is announced in June 2017. I figured that even if I don’t get short listed for the award OR even make the frigging deadline, I would have ignited a toasty enough inferno under my arse to actually get my book written.

So every night for the past month, and into the foreseeable next few months, while my family sleeps I drink wine and type away in a frenzy. Because I only work best when I give myself impossible deadlines and because wine is tasty.

It is good to have goals. Even if they might kill you.

Wish me luck.