free chocolate pudding!

12 weeks post op seems to be the magical number for heart surgery recovery. At this point the bones of your sternum should have sufficiently healed and fused back together. The concern of a potential re-fracture is cleared and it is the physiological ‘safe’ marker for resuming some strenuous activity.

I still have a fiery, sore, burning-tightness when I first get up in the morning, but overall the pain and discomfort seems to be permanently filing itself to the archives of “hey, let’s totally never have to remember that again.” I feel better and stronger with everyday.

My scar still looks like a foreign highway that a stranger has inexplicably etched into me. It lives on as a fresh reminder of everything that happened. Some people look at it and either manage to feign the “Oh, it looks good” reaction or sometimes they can’t stop their eyes from expressing that guttural, teeth-clenched “Ouch, Holy Shit” version. Either way it is all-good and the second reaction has so far gotten me a free pint of Guinness and a chocolate pudding, on two separate occasions. So wins all around.

I sometimes think back to how freaked out I was about having someone open me up and put their hands inside my chest. Fixing my silent, non-beating heart while a heart and lung machine pumped life and functioned for me. It still baffles me.

But now at nearly 15 weeks post opt I feel almost fully back to normal. I no longer worry about all the events that gave me the scar. I instead get friends, family and the Internet to help me make fun of it.

Here are some of the submissions from my recent internet request.

You all win a free chocolate pudding! <3

ET – Thanks to the anonymous internet person who didn’t submit their name. I like your alien styles.

From Duane in Detroit. The search for Jimmy Hoffa is finally over!

Jocelyn and Yvan for this deeply terrifying Lion King creature, otherwise known as SCAR (I thought they were all named Simba in that movie) Best use of double entrée and for educating me on Disney characters. <3

Alex and the Beadon family for this gem. Extra points for the inclusion of butt fireworks.

This awesome shoe lace from Victoria that would have been most convenient if I just had to unlace for them to get in there.

This broccoli, unicorn, sloth magic from Alice who hid from her boss in order to work on this. #workethic

A picture of me eating a watermelon. Followed by two of the creepiest things that can’t be unseen by Heather & Mia….

The exceptional creepy hand with gummies…

…and this thing that I still can’t fully understand and makes me feel a little weird on the inside (and by a little I mean a lot)

A late submission by my lovely friend, Chebioam. Love me some AbFab!!! 🙂